*breaking into tears*

today:16/04/09
mood: wierd, emo , sad, confused , crazy......

at first i woke up and went to school..
everything feels normal, feel okay..
so 1st lesson english.. have to do work but did nth just being crazy..
2nd poa, teacher never come, great cos i no mood for lesson.
slack reading my teenage magezine then copy work from anan.
e-math, mr raj was like calling huishing,minfang and grace then left me alone in the group.
went over to find charles and ask him to teach me some ques cos i stupid didn't understand.
3rd pe: crazy 2.4km run. wanted to get like 13min but got 15 at last.
cos gastric act up then twisted ankle like abit. so sadded**
recess nothing much lohr..
then chemisty get test paper.. gosh i pass like just pass, but was happy enough.
see i put effort okay MUM dun say i didn't or whoever..
went down to green barzar. but didn't do anything just sit with grace, feli, cw and syl.
went back to class for CLD.
didn't have much mood. ask me why, i dun really know..
had some stupid games in class, didn't like it.
so while mr gwee show us a video about earth day i was like stoning ..
thinking what? not sure, just everything sad i guess..
feel really really down, who knows..? i dun care anymore..
am i really that bad? i often ask myself.
wo zhen de bu zhi dao.
there ish just this one thing in my mind, but.... i dun wanna speak up..
keeping silent ish a good thing..
"loving ppl ish a piece of cake but getting a person to love u truely ish harded than diamonds."
haiis**
but glad that wifee ish no longer so emo.
be happy ue ..

about black valetine's day: watch a movie call knowing.
quite a nice show.
had fun with someone..
had a shocked and touch..
(but should i be the one) =(
nth seem to matter at that moment.
i feel happy, feel warmth , feel love.
just the moment its over memorises flooded me once again.

saying about now, feel very sad.. something for u guys to read :

I'm hurt all the time.
I don't want to cry for the way I feel inside.
I just want someone to hold me..
I'm alone in the dark, please try to find me.
If no one cares, I don't see a point to go on.
Anyone find me! Anyone care!
I'm sorry, I just don't want to be alone anymore.
I feel unheard and unseen.
Depressed and weak.
No one cares and yet I'm always the sorry one.
Someone find me! I'm scared.
Please hold me until it all ends.
Just hold me that’s all I want.
I don't want to be alone in the dark.
Just hold me as I start to disappear from the light.
Just hold me as I start to cry.
Just hold me so I wont be alone inside.
Just hold me so I don't do something wrong.
Just hold me so tight, that for a moment I could feel that im not alone...
*while doing so i cried and that a fact*
i never lie..

i waiting.. waiting for someone to find me, who will that be.
can the person dun let me wait anymore.
i cannot take it anymore..
will the one msq me? find me?
not for me to say.