i'm not perfect
2nd:
我不完美。。。
我永永远远都不回完美。。。
yes, wound can be heal..
but i will never be able to heal ur wound..
wo bu xi huan ..
i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck
i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck
i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck
x IT'LL NEVER STOP RAINING -
happy & sadded
today:30/05/09
hmmm, today woke up at around 11++ by a msq..
so woke up wash up and sat down watch tv...
then not long after i bath and went out to meet fat fat..
he couldn't get the comfirmation slip=(
we went to kfc to have our breakfirst and lunch..
very happy, eta and chit chat XD
so after eat we went to take mrt to woodlands..
hmmmm, on the way t0 his house we were sweet sweet dehr
but...................but....................
when we walking to civi centre think saw his friends or mei bahr..
fatfat just haiis...
just sho0ke off my hand..
act like we dunno each other maybe...
at that moment, i felt very HURTT ... FREAKINGG HURTT...
however i just kept silent..
i feel so hurt that i really got nothingg to explain about..
FAT did i make u feel shameful t0 have me?
i'm s0rry if i really make u feel paiseh t0 have me. duibuqi.
reach house, tears just fall d0wn..
i couldn't control..
and the whole atmosphere is very down..
and i cause him to be very sad.
haiis, at last things went better...
but i still apologise that i make u so sadd.
ish girl overreact. duibuqi..
we leave house slack at cwp..
wait his guitar to be fix then i went h0me..
s0 now blogging nohr...
so l0ve today..
my fatfat ish now mine..
really really mine mine mine!!!
hope u won't let me go.
i really freaking dun wan to experience it ever again!!
evangeline ish scared..
evangeline dun wan to experience it again.
after some things..
this is wad i got...
我知道我不够完美。。。
我知道我比不过她们。。。
可是我真的已经很努力了。。。
我很努力做你心里哪完美的人。。。
因为我傻，心里就只有你一个。。
如果和我在一起，你很辛苦，很不开心。。
这全都没意义了。。。。每意义了。。
就让我一人承受好了。。。
对不起，真的对不起。。。
我不喜欢你和我在一起，但心里想的却是其他人。。。
我不喜欢！！！
x IT'LL NEVER STOP RAINING -
dissappointed..
today:29/05/09
peeke bo0!!
have been a long time since i posted lohr...
many thing happen duringg the past few day lohr..
gotten back the report bo0k..
hide in the ro0m...
was so scared to gib it to my mum..
at last i did... she scold me ..
i have no choice, its not i wan de wad..
i went inside my ro0m, cry real hard.
ask to be alone, sorry my dear...
cried till like shit and fell asleep..
was to tired lehr..
so, cause of my result,
my mum didn't talk to me about two days..
but at last todayy she tok to me ask me wan have dinner a not lohr..
so today , went home take money and went to eat with my wifee...
but we walk s0 long in the end never eat..
only drink ice milk tea from mos burger..
XD XD XD
so nice..
siian, will have so many days nv see dear...
hahahs, lols..
haiis, sometimes day is so hard to pass by...
life ish always so unfair one..
i hate it very much..
i'm always the one wrong..
always the one that did not try myy best ..
why is it so..?
i really dun understand..
this world ish so cruel..
if in a good family then its okay..
but in my..?
my future babyy,
theres always question running through my silly little mind.
i couldn't control lohr...
sorry ib u feel irritated to answer my question.
am i silly to ask ib u really love me or cause or something else.
i felt really good after getting ur answer..
thank ues very much..
i know i may not be good enough for ues
but i will try my very best.
u know, i always say u're so perfect that it scare me.
ib u're unhappy or anything pls tell me ..
pls allow me to be as perfect as i can in uur eyes..
so how uur heart only have me.
x IT'LL NEVER STOP RAINING -
nothingg funn
todayy:22/05/09
as usual wake up and went to skool..
was very tired..
but i sleep at 10pm but wake up still veryy tiredd..
i also dun understand nehhs...
so, first period was art..
wanted quite a long time then gotten back our art result..
hmmmm, among 16 art students the highest score was only like 57.
i got 54/100 only lohr..
think ish position 3 or 4 bahhs...
so poa, teacher nv come.
gib us copy corrections.. so lame-_-|||
then chem last paper, gotten okayy...
but fail lahr.. i tried liao lohr..
amazingg i gotten same marks as myy phyy nehhs..
i always tot that my phy will be better but this time chem bit better..
just like CH lohr.. tot ss better but in the end history better..
haiis, this mid year gott very bad result..
1-A2, 1-B4, 2-C5, 1-C6,1-E8, 1-F9..
siian half lohr..
after school went home take money and eat mac with jiajia..
chit chat abit and eat lohr..
so went home,wash up and lie on sofa lehr..
not awhile i jiu slp lehr...
thihnk around 5plus woke up then just nice recieve my precious msq.
so sweet nohr.. wahaha...
wake up , watch tv, blogg nohr..
s0 boringg..
hmmmm, mayb i should do somethingg for hmmm..
lalalas~ lololos~
ehhhs, nothing nahr..
just wanted to l0ve ues nehhs..
muackie**
evangeline evangeline evangeline
hmmmmmm....
dearest, i will ask the rain,storm,sunshine and wind to go find ues
as when it come.....
so,when the rain come it will wash ur tears away
when the storm come it will snatch ur sad away
when the sunshine come it will shine ur way
and when the wind come it will blow ur worries away.
x IT'LL NEVER STOP RAINING -
horrible dayy
todayy:21/05/09
so scaryy today..
was going to take result ...
first english..
i pass with a 55/100..
was quite happy with it as i improve.
phy fail.
math fail badly..
started tearingg badly..
stop when its CH lesson..
i got total of 74/100.
dissappointing cos i could get A1 ib myy ss score better..
i always think that myy ss is better than my history but always result shows i'm better in history..
got the highest for hiy: 41/50
have to know the result for art and chem tmr..
sadd lohr....
after school went to see mr raj..
haiis***
he never scold lahr, but just ask me question..
so, have to go back to school during june holiday.
first week holiday:extended progamme
2nd week holiday:math plus phyy
3rd week holiday:math math math
last week holiday: still math math math
need to catch up so no choice bahhs..
sadded=((
cried after that luckly got my wifee grace company..
so see alot ppl going to madeline dad funeral so went too and payy respect.
sat for awhile then meet syl lehr..
he came over and pei me aso chat ..
then time passes fast..
it was 5.30pm...
see the skyy very darkk so ask him faster..
dun wanna him kanna rainn..
starting just drizzling..
but then it started raining really heavily..
walk under the rain, so scared phone kanna..
silly right, protect phone than myselff...
so came home bath and blogg lehr..
haiis so sadd lohr.
study hard lehr still like that ..
no choice also not i wan dehr..
so take report bo0k wait mum scold lohr..
sobsob**
i suck at studying lohr..
hate it hate it..
just few more months before o levels
i must work even harder
<3 <3 you**
thank for being so sweet..
really appreciate it.
just so hope that u're mine..
but, it okayys..
hmmm, will be with u whenever u need me kaes..
hee, sorry nehhs something so kiddish and irriating keep talk to u non-stop,
just have many unhappy thing i wan spill it out..
thank lohr..
ps:just hope that one dayy u'll be mine really
x IT'LL NEVER STOP RAINING -
.......
do you know that i'm okay?
are there things u wanna say?
thinking of it night and day.
hoping u'll come back and stay.
i rmb when u told me
i'll be alright.
don't worry.
...............
..............
**i try and try to understand
is all this just a sad goodbye
thinking of u night and day
no matter ib u'll come and stay
i rmb when u told me
i'll be alright
just hold me
^^i don't wanna close my eyes tonight
missing u will make me cry
ur love will give me strenght to carry on
u'll always be my heart and mind
so i dun wanna close my eyes tonight
i know its just a miss match in time
why oh why, ~miss match in time
dun wanna close my eyes
tonight
**
^^
x IT'LL NEVER STOP RAINING -
i'm done
today:15/05/09
didn't slp much ytd..
slept like only 4 hrs...
was up forcingg myself to rmb the history note for today...
so revise and revise .. but at last decided that ib rmb means rmb...
ib forget means gone case lohr....
-_-''' so, when not studyy, i saw all myy friends busy rmbing like mad...
so it make me really anxious..
but then this also prove that our class care about the result dehr okayyy..
thus, 4e1 dun be too proud.. we'll have a chance to beat u all dehr, although not all of us take a-math nahr....
hmmm, my hostory paper, the essay was quite okayy lohr.. abit abit can do ..
but then the SBCS was kinda hard lohr.. but i tried myy best lehr ..
so nothingg can change the fact lehr bahhs..
rest time: went to find syl syl...
revise at the canteen but hahhas, they are so noisyy.. lols...
at last went up...
ummm, have a great chat with him as usual...
so did myy poa paper 1...
it was kinda okayy.. but some how abit hard bahhs...
finish and was bored...
went down and waited for myy puipui**
hahhas, then we sit down and chated for quite long..
so everyone went home and so did we..
he came over and we sat down chatting and watch stupid cartoon channel at okt0..
lols.. so lame lahr..-_-'''
when was suppose to sent himm home,
it was raining heavily.. sianx half lohr.. but still walk to the bus-stop..
decided to sent him to woodland then go home..
rush the bus then realise that i didn't bringg my ez-linkk..
it was like so malu!!! no card then also no coins..
hengg that friend came up and lent me $1.
change myy view towards this person alittle i guess...
hahhas, so when we reach woodland mrt i brought standard card! wasted myy money but nvm ...
cause i get to sees him home.. =))
brough bee hoon home from ananans , no choice no moneyy...
ate alittle and then nv lehr..
so slack and slack , watching tv...
half wayy through thinkings and questions came to mind..
was then abit emo..
so n0w contented should be senser..
haiis**
i dunch feel regret of choosingg thiss path.
but at times i really feel so demoralized.
hmmm.....
really confuse...
really scared...
i'm just scared of the dayy when i'm going to lose the person i <3..
althought sometimes i think that i shouldn't have but wo jiu shi qing bu zhi jing de ai shang lehr ta.
wad should i do..? i not sure.. do you..? can u teach me..?
questions flowingg in myy mind make me so...
so....
angry with myself... why must i have so much questions..?
can't i just keep quiet?? but this is not who i am..
i wan to know the truth..
i wan to get prepare for everythingg...
ib i was the one who ish distubingg the life of ppl...
i'm more than willingg to leave... i knew i would be hurt but it seem okay to me..
as long as when i leave, YOU would be happy, others would be happy..
evangeline dun mind suffering to gives the ONE happiness..
do you know that sometimes, i got so much things that i really wan to confront ues..
but i choose not to. i dunn wan to hurt the wonderful feeling between us to be destroyed.
i'm sorry ib i had cause unhappiness into u.
i gave myy h0pe that maybe thinggs will change..
hope that the heaven would cry with me when i'm sad.
shine with me when i'm happy..
it is just mission impossible bahhs...
i <3>
how long would i love u ?
i dunno...
how long would YOU love ME??
i HATED myself for havingg so much question..
i'm sorry i asked so much questions.
but i can't bear i really nid to know.
i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck
i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck
i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck
x IT'LL NEVER STOP RAINING -
sad sad sad.
today:140509
haiis, went to skool for myy two paper..
but then realise then i studyy wrongg paper for myy poa..
i studyy poa paper 1 but today ish paper two..
alittle no mood but still read abit or my phyy..
sitting for myy paper oh gosh..
one look i know i'm dead..
just any how do and knew i fluunk myy phy paper...
thn ytd i flunk my MATH PAPER.. =(( very sadd..
during the break i tried to revise for paper two really hard.
but just hated chapter twenty. alot of formula which i dunno ...
and darm it , it came out on ques 2.
i kept on rmbing the format and never really learn the explaination..
so, flunk it again.. even the tr p&l a/c..
i flunk math , english, phy wad more can i flunkk?? everything??!!!!
so diaappointed with myself..
so useless..
siiann, todayy just over the two paper jiu come home lehr..
hungry but lazyy go out buyy food as usual..
so sat down and post..
wad i going to do ltr guess ish read abit poa paper ONE!!!!!
then faster rmb myy history..
its like so many... oh my..
todayy wonder wad time then i can sleep..
-_-'''
check out my horoscope told me : pain u experienced recently is fading. keep on moving and leave the past behind.
'baby' this for ue.
u know u are great.. i know u are great..
am i good enough for uur great..?
i'm not sure..
i didn't gib enffu and i knew it..
i'll nv win ur sweetness.. it's just so super sweet^^
i miss you always and forever.. mauckie**
when u need me i'll be with u ..
i will give u energyy..
rang ai gei ni li liang bahhs..
xi wangg wo zhi qian de xuan zhe shi mei you cuo dehr..
and i knew it will nv be wrong..
all i do ish follow myy heart..
i so h0pe uu follow uur heart and be happy and NOT be suffering..
or else i will be so million times dehr sadd!=((
" all girlgirl wan ish u to smile be happy always..
anything else doesn't mean anything to me"
evangeline flunkk lots subject whats next?!
evangeline hate her stupiddness..
evangeline hate herself..
evangeline hate beingg a burden..
x IT'LL NEVER STOP RAINING -
tiredd in sko0l..
today:120509
noww i'm in school labb.. english teacher gives us time to relax as eng paper already finish lehr..
haiis** about ytd night..
dunn0 whyy, was chattingg with ue noe wh0.. puipui..
then half wayy through like got fights..
so it make myy mind myy thinkingg to went wild!!!
at last he sayy he wan t0 slpp so okayy we hang up..
i sent himm a msq.. he replyy and it really touch me..
i cried and cried till i was so tired with no energyy left...
been thinking alot alot of things...
couldn't slpp even its like 12.50am lehr..
haiis** i dunno what happenn..
really confused, really hate the feelingg of losingg the person i reallyy care lehr..
hmmmm, tmr ish myy ss and math paper 1 midyear exam lehr..
i'm really extremely scaredd...
h0pe all the best for me..
not goingg to slppp much tonight ..
maybe goingg to drink coffee AGAIN..
wish g0d bless me**
recess i didn't bringg money$$ so sad=((
steal my frien bread and syl water..
also anan banana cake which i am eatingg right now.
thankzz guyy.
school end at 3.25pm
very sian lohr...
this thingg is just what i feel like sayying
not to anyone just feel like sayying.. :(ib u can see)
hmmm, XXX XXX
u're so important to me that i could't bear to leave ue..
the truth ish i tried to leave u, tryy really hard..
but i just can't..
i wan to stayy with ue..
i dunno know whyy i make this choice..
but i knew this ish wad myy heart told me to.
i'm sorry ib i causes u anyy saddness..
if i did be frank and tell me..
i'm more than willing to give up anything for u,
more than willing to suffer for u,
more than willing to share ur pain share ur saddness
but i won't share uur happiness..
i wan u to enjoyy it..
even ib u turn the time back to the time when i have to make the choice..
i will still make the SAME..
although i kknw this will happen i still make it.
i treasure every min i'm with ue.
evangeline is scared of losing u
wonder when that day is comingg...
would never be a burden to him.
never wanted him to fu chu se men..
zhi yao ta kaixin wo jiu contented lehr.
how long will this goes on..? i hope its forever.
i really wan ue.. really need u..
but.......
just wish u happy its okayy for me..
mauckie**
x IT'LL NEVER STOP RAINING -
zzz-_-'''
lols, its take ytd.. at cwp dehr metro..
cute rightt..???
evangeline and sylvester the cat =))
myy pictures wuth myy dajie... she like pigglet.
myy familyy but no erjie..she currently in korea..
hmmm, dad mum have not sat tgt since long time..
just woke up n0t long ago.
slept quite late ytd.. was watchingg tvv...
hmm, ytd went to celebrate mother's dayy at cwp..
wanted to eat dim sum at crystal jade kitchen one but stupid auntie want to come dunno for what thingg..
x IT'LL NEVER STOP RAINING -
freakingg stress!
the pictures use ish some times ago. nothing to do, so edit.
l0ve myy sister althought we do fighht at times..
muackie**
today:080509
hmmmm, ytd study till i think around 11++..
but then when i was on bed. i can't slp...
very worry about today eng exam... really wish to pass...
i work realy hard this time so wish god bless me.
done myy paper one then went for a break.
stupid fcuking person.. make me really angrryyy...
at least i take the first step to ask mdm norlita to meet us and talk to us about our art right.
not like him, only know how to brat.
so wad ib i have two art students number onlyy.. my fault arhh..?
u think i wadd, take everyones number like u arhh..?
i not as flirt as u lahr hor.. asshole..
ib u nv go ask teacher in the first place u better stup ur fucking mouth..
i regret of knowingg u as a friends, even see u like a stranger..
i'm so mad, but i still contain all my anger and went for my english paper 2. when im doingg so, i forget eveythingg and just concentrate on myy workk...
so i did my best on the paper and really h0pe i will pass...
after that i went to sp with anan to photocopy the ss and historyy notes..
it take like almost an hour lahr..
so in the mean time we went to popular and read books..
i found out that my name evangeline means 'good news' =))
i read on potty babyy.. i also dunno why.. its just so cute... hahahs.. =X
then went to ntuc walk around see jum,sauce,perfume etc..
thus finally myy thingg ish done. it cause like 20.85!!!!
luckly todayy i only eat $2 in school so i have enough money to payy.. phew phew**
i was sadd as i wanted to but sweetcorn for lunch but do not have enffu moneyy.=((
so i just went home straight...
feelingg very hungryy as i ytd night nv eat today recess eat polar snacks and wangwang only. thn i search the whole house and finally no choice i cook instant noodle to eat..
also, thank my dajie for lentingg me the laptop always when i ask for permission.
heehees>< him="))" napp="))">
evangeline ish feeling freak out
evangeline ish feeling stress out
evangeline ish tired of life
evangeline ish nothingg
evangeline wants l0ve.
evangeline wants care
evangeline wants secure.
evangeline dislike herself for beingg so useless..
x IT'LL NEVER STOP RAINING -
bored! life ish so unfair..
x IT'LL NEVER STOP RAINING -
life so bored!
TODAY:030509
mood:bored..
today sunday lehhs.. parents nv wake me up go breakfirst..
i think ish cause they going market so i cm lazyy go dehr.
i woke up at around 1120+ like that.
so i wash up then find food..
they brought nasi lamak and otah for me..
hahhas, yum yum..
quite yummy altot its cold already..
heehees..
msq puipui at 11.30 told him that okto channel ish showingg moonface2.
so i eat while watching...
then lalalalas....
one hours ltr my dad fell alslp in the living room then my pui woke up..
so msq msq msq...
his going out to meet susu ltr so hope he take kare lohr..
then stop msqing him lehr..
cause dun wan distube him when he outside ...
guys need some freedom outside on their own dehr also worx...
i lay on the sofa feelingg so bored and so hot...
ughhhhhh*** siian arhhh....
then now its like 1pm in the afternoon..
tons and tons of work i dunno how to do, haven do.. siian another half**
i decided to rest till like 2pm then maybe start my MT work first bahhs.
now okto no show, so i use comp update first lohr...
depend i use comp till 2pm or maybe 1.30pm then i go watch "roadrunner show"
heehees, i know its kinda childish lahr.. but i like to watch cartoon...
it makes my heart at young , relaxx... ib not always hab stress and need to think like an adult..
i hate that the most man..
so i told myself being childish and crazyy at times is a really good thingg..
hmmmmm, life is unfair...
i hope not everything have to revole around LOVE.
wad to do for the rest of the day i really dunno ..
lets just see how lohr..
maybe post again later at night..
buh bye reader...
tadaaaa..
evangeline is super duper bored.
x IT'LL NEVER STOP RAINING -
contented
today:020509
woke up by my wifee msq..
wanting to meet and do homework with her G.A
but at last nv..
so only wifee, puipui and me meet nia..
we went to kopitiam have our lunch and of cause ice-ice =))
then we go to mac and settle down for work..
but hor... we do till like 4 ques then siian liao..
so three of us buy ice-cream..
slumber they all call puipui say they comingg mac..
so, we faster pack and went off...
pui pui syl went restroom..
have to wait for himmm...
heehees, after that we decided go my house watch DVD:coming soon.
we watch it then wifee keep using phone to msq her GA.
some part of the show really scared me..
hahha, was like pinching puipui and wanting to pluck his leg hair..
wahahahha, im evil...
but i nv pluck hor, i just pull then he was shouting already..
so off we went.. we went to walk walk and see clothes..
after that they pei me go find my mama then they went off liao..
so sadded** misses** =((
ate then went home already..
see the J again and again. feel nothing lehr. just friends lohr...-_-'''
come sp wear till so nicee for wad..? see chio bu mahhs..??
who cares...><
so i didn,t really do any work..
slck through the friday and sat.. tmr i better pull up my sock man.. ib not die liao lohr..
hmmm, wad am i going to do next i also dunno lehhs...
see how lohr..
TADAAAAAAAADAAAAAAAA-AHHHHHH
evangeline is lazyy idiot..
im evil
im bitch
x IT'LL NEVER STOP RAINING -
